So, this was my spiritual enlightenment from last night.
We tend to excuse people's negative and destructive behaviors. How many times have you heard some one say " Oh, she's unreliable, that's just the way she is.". Or He is so angry and negative all the time. That's how he has been all the time" Fill your blank in there. He/she is so________. (Lazy, controlling, irresponsible, ect.) He/She will never change. That is WHO they are."
When we make excuses and accept others negative behavior, we are not holding them at their highest. Thinking they will never change. We hold them at their lowest because it is easier to excuse them than to have great expectations of them. Why? Because we will be face disappointment. And disappointment hurts.
And as we excuse others negative behavior, we also tend to do it with ourselves. That negative voice in our heads. "I'm too this or too that" And again we don't give ourselves room for growth or change.
Even our society does it with rapist, child molesters, domestic abuse and killers. We excuse their behavior because of a negative pass/childhood. News flash!!!!! A lot of us where raise in dysfunctional homes, Abused in every way thinkable. That doesn't give me or anyone an excuse to do it to others. It's not a free pass.
Even Corporations, businesses politicians and our Government make excuses.
I haven't gotten to an easy fix of the problem, but I'm working on it. My best bet is to call them out on it and yes, it could be done in a loving way. Give ourselves the right to no longer accept OUR excuses for other's negative behavior, specially when "IT" invades OUR boundaries and well being or the well being of those we love. THE VALUE WE PUT ON A PERSON, GREATLY AFFECTS THE WAY THEY VALUE THEMSELVES.